“Why does everyone else seem to be in a loving relationship?” Feb 2017

 In Articles

Do you feel like relationships are hard work?

Do you ever feel like you and your partner have more difficult days than good days?

Do you sometimes feel like you don’t love each other at all?

If you answer yes for any of these, you are not alone. More and more people find themselves struggling in a relationship that was once great.

So what happens? In the beginning everything is new, everything is an adventure, and we are more likely to be on our best behaviour. But over time, exciting things can become the norm; we begin to recognise less favourable traits and characteristics in our partner. Likewise we are more likely to become complacent and let some of our ‘not so endearing’ habits show.
I want you to know that there will be times where you may not feel the love you once felt, and there’ll even be times where you feel none at all. But that doesn’t mean it’s the end.
Now we all recognise that there are some relationships that cannot be maintained any longer, and for the best for everyone, separations need to occur. However, I want to share with you some forgotten tips to maintaining a healthy relationship and jump start the forgotten love.

Small and Simple Things: It is amazing what a small random act of kindness and love can do. Make an unexpected meal, a small gift, or a note left with a work lunch. We all experience a peak in endorphins when we know someone has specifically thought of us.

Date: A standard yet forgotten thing. It is so easy, once we have been together for any length of time, to take each other for granted and relax in the comfort of our own home. Get out there and enjoy each other’s company in a different environment. With the many vouchers out there it doesn’t even need to be expensive. One bit of advice I always give couples is ‘do something childlike’. Let’s face it, adults are boring, but if you go and do something like ice skating or running in the sea, you will witness the fun child in your partner. Just think back to how child like you both were when you first began the relationship.

Intimacy: Not just the sexual kind. True intimacy is when we are sharing and interacting in a more honest place, we are sharing feelings, or belly laughing at moment that no one else will understand. Take time, turn off the devices, and focus intently on each other.

This is not a guarantee but it can allow for the beginnings of love again.

The Northern Compass: Counselling & Therapeutic Services


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